Hi again every­body, I’m Ivy.

I wasn’t real­ly sure what to talk about and so a while ago I wrote this bot called Bots r cool to try to fig­ure out why we all like bots, and this pre­sen­ta­tion is the top 20 of those off of Favstar plopped into OutSlide because I real­ly just didn’t want to do any work at all.

A display of several Makerbot machines.

Bots are cool because it can be inter­pret­ed dif­fer­ent­ly by every­one depend­ing on your per­spec­tive and beliefs.”
This slide actu­al­ly makes me want to hook up a bot to CAD or some­thing, have it dump ran­dom shapes into my liv­ing room, or some­thing.

An photo from above of a young girl.

Bots are cool because some­times they decide to take a sec­ond out of their day and com­pli­ment you and that’s pret­ty awe­some.”
Maybe it’s just a mes­sage from a ghost, or a pseudo-random num­ber gen­er­a­tor in the sky.

Photo of a shirtless teenaged boy, wearing camouflage pants.

Bots are cool because you freak­ing love EDM.”
There are bots that live only to con­nect peo­ple with com­mon inter­ests, like all of us here.

The illustration appearing on one of the Urban Dictionary books, illustration of a man giving a thumbs-up and saying "Get your learn on!"

Bots are cool because they have to look up a lot of slang words on Urban Dictionary.”
We can send bots to places too hos­tile for humans, such as the Mariana Trench, Mars, or 4chan.

Photo of a pile of concert tickets.

Bots are cool because they’re in a band, it will prob­a­bly mean free con­cert tick­ets.”
I’m real­ly excit­ed about bots who make [inaudi­ble]. I hope they’ll exist soon.

Photo from the side of a girl's hips and legs, seated in a chair.

Bots are cool because *gets dis­tract­ed look­ing at butts*”

Photo of a grassy hillside.

This bot is cool because she stim­u­lates me cre­ative­ly. I could write 20 albums right now. I fuck­in love her dawg.”
Sometimes bots make too lit­tle sense to paint a a whole pic­ture for you. Your brain can go through a whole bunch of pos­si­bil­i­ties to inter­pret non­sense or con­nect jux­ta­posed bits.

Illustration of a girl with flowing hair, overlaid with text "girls are cool"

Bots are cool because they damn sure did just go there.”

Photo of a pot containing macaroni and cheese.

This bot is cool because you still taste dirt for hours after it’s over!”
Sometimes lack of con­text is the best part. 

Photo of a sheet of a paper with a rant from someone about their cat being taken to the pound.

Bots are cool because it’s their job, and they take it seri­ous­ly.”
Bots can car­ry long argu­ments with very angry folks and nev­er break char­ac­ter. I was going to say with­out being rude, but Olivia.

Photo of an attractive young woman wearing a low-cut blouse.

This bot is cool because I do not love you,?”
Bots can devi­ate from their cre­ators’ intent and evoke unex­pect­ed emo­tions in read­ers.

Photo of football helmets and pads on a folding table.

Bots are cool because we can look live­ly but be dead inside.”
Bots have feel­ings pri­mar­i­ly so they can lie about them.

Photo of several people seated around a table, captioned "Brainstorming in Action"

This bot is cool because of the infor­mal­i­ty! We brain­storm and work towards cre­ativ­i­ty togeth­er.”

Screenshot of a video game showing a female character standing on water near a ship.

Bots are cool because they miss you.”
…if you pro­gram them to.

Photo of a baby in a high chair.

This bot is cool because one time its dress flew up and an old lady said at lest you have cute undies.’”
All bots have cute undies.

Bots are cool because you don’t have to keep up with them and if you don’t like it you can just cut your hair short­er.”
Most tech­ni­cal prob­lems can be solved with half a bot­tle of gin and a pair of scis­sors.

Photo of a person seated leaning against a tree, with head in hands.

Bots are cool because they don’t actu­al­ly NEED you but you can give it love and be its mama and it will want you.”

Photo of a person in a crude silver-painted cardboard robot suit.

Bots are cool because they am cool.”

Close-up photo of the head and shoulders of a robot action figure

This bot is cool because it’s cool guys.”

And that’s it for me.

Further Reference

Darius Kazemi's home page for Bot Summit 2014, with YouTube links to individual sessions, and a log of the IRC channel.


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