Hi again everybody, I’m Ivy.

I wasn’t really sure what to talk about and so a while ago I wrote this bot called Bots r cool to try to figure out why we all like bots, and this presentation is the top 20 of those off of Favstar plopped into OutSlide because I really just didn’t want to do any work at all.

A display of several Makerbot machines.

“Bots are cool because it can be interpreted differently by everyone depending on your perspective and beliefs.”
This slide actually makes me want to hook up a bot to CAD or something, have it dump random shapes into my living room, or something.

An photo from above of a young girl.

“Bots are cool because sometimes they decide to take a second out of their day and compliment you and that’s pretty awesome.”
Maybe it’s just a message from a ghost, or a pseudo-random number generator in the sky.

Photo of a shirtless teenaged boy, wearing camouflage pants.

“Bots are cool because you freaking love EDM.”
There are bots that live only to connect people with common interests, like all of us here.

The illustration appearing on one of the Urban Dictionary books, illustration of a man giving a thumbs-up and saying "Get your learn on!"

“Bots are cool because they have to look up a lot of slang words on Urban Dictionary.”
We can send bots to places too hostile for humans, such as the Mariana Trench, Mars, or 4chan.

Photo of a pile of concert tickets.

“Bots are cool because they’re in a band, it will probably mean free concert tickets.”
I’m really excited about bots who make [inaudible]. I hope they’ll exist soon.

Photo from the side of a girl's hips and legs, seated in a chair.

“Bots are cool because *gets distracted looking at butts*”

Photo of a grassy hillside.

“This bot is cool because she stimulates me creatively. I could write 20 albums right now. I fuckin love her dawg.”
Sometimes bots make too little sense to paint a a whole picture for you. Your brain can go through a whole bunch of possibilities to interpret nonsense or connect juxtaposed bits.

Illustration of a girl with flowing hair, overlaid with text "girls are cool"

“Bots are cool because they damn sure did just go there.”

Photo of a pot containing macaroni and cheese.

“This bot is cool because you still taste dirt for hours after it’s over!”
Sometimes lack of context is the best part.

Photo of a sheet of a paper with a rant from someone about their cat being taken to the pound.

“Bots are cool because it’s their job, and they take it seriously.”
Bots can carry long arguments with very angry folks and never break character. I was going to say without being rude, but Olivia.

Photo of an attractive young woman wearing a low-cut blouse.

“This bot is cool because I do not love you,?”
Bots can deviate from their creators’ intent and evoke unexpected emotions in readers.

Photo of football helmets and pads on a folding table.

“Bots are cool because we can look lively but be dead inside.”
Bots have feelings primarily so they can lie about them.

Photo of several people seated around a table, captioned "Brainstorming in Action"

“This bot is cool because of the informality! We brainstorm and work towards creativity together.”

Screenshot of a video game showing a female character standing on water near a ship.

“Bots are cool because they miss you.”
…if you program them to.

Photo of a baby in a high chair.

“This bot is cool because one time its dress flew up and an old lady said ‘at lest you have cute undies.'”
All bots have cute undies.

“Bots are cool because you don’t have to keep up with them and if you don’t like it you can just cut your hair shorter.”
Most technical problems can be solved with half a bottle of gin and a pair of scissors.

Photo of a person seated leaning against a tree, with head in hands.

“Bots are cool because they don’t actually NEED you but you can give it love and be its mama and it will want you.”

Photo of a person in a crude silver-painted cardboard robot suit.

“Bots are cool because they am cool.”

Close-up photo of the head and shoulders of a robot action figure

“This bot is cool because it’s cool guys.”

And that’s it for me.

Further Reference

Darius Kazemi’s home page for Bot Summit 2014, with YouTube links to individual sessions, and a log of the IRC channel.